currently listening to:

currently listening to:
I have to admit I'm really biased when it comes to this musical. The only musicals I know all the songs (or lines) are Les Miserables, Once on this Island and Phantom of the Opera.
When I was a kid, I used to listen to the Original Cast Phantom of the Opera production in two casettes. I never really understood Christine's predicament back then.

A lot of people didn't like the movie. Basically it had bad reviews. I just love the music. Yes, I agree that the Phantom looks like a young macho guy who just happened to have a disfigured face instead of the old, deformed monster in the book. I didn't like it too. The guy who played Raoul is meant to be weak and just pretty anyway. Even in the book, I didn't like him.

I'm going to defend Minnie Driver. Some people didn't like her coz she acted "as annoying as possible". ( quoted from here)

I liked the way she acted. Opera singers during that time were invaluable to the opera house. They got everything they wanted, they were loved by everyone and they were bitchy.
That's pretty much why they can be annoying but since they were really good they got away with it. Her role probably got more money than the lead male singer during those days.
So she did her part right.

im blind but at least i can still hear

Three weeks ago, I got glasses.
Two days after that, I convinced myself that I didn't need them because my eyesight was fine. (did i mention i was stubborn?)
A week after that, I started wearing them again and now... I never realized how helpful they were till I forgot them...
Yup. I'm not completely blind. My glasses have a 25-50 grade and that's not so bad except I have astigmatism and the computer now seems brighter than usual and a bit hazy.
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oh yeah today is valentine's day...
usually i don't even notice, it doesn't feel different. nothing extraordinary happens and i happen to have a "date" who believes that valentine's day is so cliche.

though i didn't really feel jealous when a co worker of mine got flowers :) they were so pretty.. too pink for my taste. (i just want green carnations and snap dragons.) but it was so sweet because her bf already left (he's on a boat somewhere) and he still sent her flowers.

valentine's day used to be a day when i got my mom and grandmother flowers.

i just wish i could bring my grandmother flowers once more.
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I finally got to see Phantom of the Opera this weekend. I was happy to find out that I still knew most of the songs .
Seriously.
A must see movie for those who love the musical.
Yes, the soundtrack and the movie are downloadable through bittorrent.

The Phantom has this one heart wrenching line :

"He was born to love you when he heard you sing"

The irony of being part of the reason why your love has found someone else...

I love the way the movie changes from the present to the past. The golden human arms torch lit hallway, and the way they did the Masquerade and the Notes song.

I especially love Minnie Driver as Carlotta. I don't think anyone else would have been able to carry it so well.
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Lokitorrent has been shut down. But if you go back there, there's this threatening page that almost makes you think the government is watching you from your monitor.
"You can click but you can't hide..."
I wonder who makes their slogans :)

Bittorrent will never die. Even if all the american sites are shut down, they will still reopen somewhere somehow. If all else fails, their are a lot of foreign sites anyway...
you just got to learn the language.

finally, an actual piece of fiction

It was ash wednesday yesterday and also the chinese new year. I don't know why but I just got an idea. Well, I already knew I wanted to write a story about the burns but I didn't know how I'd handle it or what really happens.

Last night, around 1130 pm (possibly later) I started writing and to my surprise, when I finished, I had completed the first draft. All before midnight. Well it is a short story.

The text I posted is the second draft. Nobody has read this yet or given any comments about it so it is definitely not final.

Any comment or reaction is appreciated. Even if it is bad. If it doesn't sit well or if even after reading it, it makes no sense.

Thanks

fiction : birthday

1:00 pm

I was all alone again.

I sat down in the middle of the room and laid my arsenal around me in a circle.

I placed the gun at the north, the pills to the east, the knife to the south and the poison to the west.

I had to consider this very carefully.

They all have their advantages and disadvantages. Except for the gun, the other 3 did not have a 100% success rate. I personally did not want to wake up in the hospital feeling like a wreck.

Not like the last time...

2:00 pm

Still no decision but I lay plastic wrap all around me.

I didn't want to make a mess.

The memories came flooding back. It occurred to me that I may have been going to fast that night. So was the drunk driver who hit me, though he shouldn't even be on the road that night.
I didn't see him at all.

I just wanted to go home.

When I woke up, I felt nothing.

Sure my body hurt. I couldn't move at all without feeling pain. I had bandages covering my face, arms and most of my body but my skin didn't hurt.

I couldn't even feel my skin.

That's the problem with burns. You want them to hurt. The more it hurts the lesser the damage, the faster it gets better.

Third degree burns don't hurt because there's nothing left on your skin to feel the pain. No nerves, sometimes even no muscle.

I never knew how vain I was till that day. I never realized how I appreciated my looks, even though I wasn't a stunning beauty or anything. I always said I didn't wear makeup or style my hair because I didn't care about how I looked.

I was wrong.

I also knew we had no money.

No money for miracles. We only had money to save my life.

3:00 pm

All this thinking (and crying) made me hungry. I got up and microwaved some left over pizza I found in the refrigerator.

My last meal: leftover bacon and cheeseburger pizza. I was grumpy. I didn't even bother to get my favorite pizza for my last meal?

I pull out my notebook and start on the first draft of my suicide note.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I'm sorry and I love you.

I tear the page off and start a new one.

I tried using a tape recorder once.

I poured my heart out into it. I cried, I explained to them why I was leaving, why everything didn't matter anymore and why my cousins shouldn't get all my stuff. I probably would have sang if I found a minus one tape... Or a tape recorder that can handle the task.

I made the mistake of listening to it.

I destroyed the tape ( nobody must hear it again), threw it away and hid the tape recorder to prevent me from making another disaster of a suicide note.

The first draft of my suicide note came out fine. A 78 word autobiography.

My life and death in 78 words.

Hmmm.

I write it down again slowly on a clean sheet of paper. When you're dead you can't tell people that the word you wrote was message and not massage.

4:00 pm

Finished the letter. Still deciding on how to go.

I go through the items in my circle again, weighing each one on efficiency, swiftness, pain level, and messiness.

I lay down on my back and close my eyes to think better and fell asleep on the floor.

5:00 pm

The door opens and he comes in.

he wakes me up with a kiss.

A kiss that hasn't changed for 5 years, even after the accident.

I wake up and look at myself.

My hair was a mess and I tried to smoothen it out with my hand.

His eyes are the only mirrors I allowed in the house.

He smiles. "Time's up."

I nodded.

"Was it the note?"

I shook my head.

"I mean last year with the tape recorder..."

I hand him my handwritten letter.

"You fell asleep didn't you?" he read the lines. "I told you it was a hard decision."

"I wanted to jump but nobody dies from jumping from the ground floor."

"Find a building then." He hands me back my letter and opens up the bag he was holding.

"I have tequila and Pringles. Let's celebrate"

We started cleaning up: I folded the plastic wrap and he took the bullets off the gun.
I took the pills to the bathroom and returned the knife in the kitchen. He was hiding the poison inside the toolbox.

"You know, I think your poison has a best before date."

"I know, I haven't used it since college."

I sat down with the iodized salt and kalamansi slices. He gave me my first shot.

"Are you doing this again?"

"Maybe next year."

the true nature of love

I was looking for a 50 word story I can post here when I saw this really old entry:

The sweetest thing neal ever told me was said last Monday, one of the worst days of the year, while we were "arguing" for my sake.(his words not mine)

He told me I was silly.

""Is this a joke?" That's what they said when you were born. "Is this a joke?" "

I just stared at him.

"Hello? April 1? What kind of birthday is that?"

He went up to me while I was ironing clothes (yup in the afternoon which is one of the reasons it was a bad day...) and hugged me.

Then he said: "The only reason you were born was because when I was two, I wished that someone will love me."

Now isn't that sweet? In a sick, selfish, I'm-the-only-one-that-matters way that only neal can carry well.
Seriously.
It was good.

tuesday : wallpapers

my current wallpaper: from Jill Thompson's little endless storybook

Yup, I guess having adobe photoshop and knowing how to use it (wow, something useful learned from my project that doesn't involve programming) has its advantages. You can make you own wallpaper! Of course all the artwork was done by Jill Thompson, who draws the best Delirium pictures. She also drew the Little Endless which are adorable. I'll probably post more wallpapers if I still have the time to make them.

I've always wanted to have small ceramic figurines of the little endless made since I saw the pictures. If anyone knows where I can get them please tell me. The ones made by DC are pretty expensive.

Speaking of wallpapers, head off to Original Sins and you can download a Constantine Fan Art kit ( 18Mb ). The kit contains pics and logos that can be used to create your own Constantine movie wallpaper. The best ones are featured in the official movie site. This is actually a good way to get great wallpapers without actually hiring people. While you're there, A Perfect Circle song plays and makes the visit worthwhile.

It's also very useful for computer newbies (and the not so newbies) to check out these few simple rules to not kill a PC. It's an article from PC Stats entitled: Beginners Guides: Most Common Ways to Kill a PC. If the link fails, you can search the archives using the title.

I forgot to put the link for the sign I created yesterday. You can make your own sign here.

There's a nice black and white show called the muppet overtime original. It's a really good short film and you should go watch it. The shorter version can be found here though I suggest watching the original since it is only 5 minutes long.

Meanwhile, as I was looking for a decent trailer for the Hide and Seek movie, I saw Tim Burton's next film: The Corpse Bride. Stars include Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. I like the trailer. The original story as well as some related film news can be found here. The moral of the story: Don't put a wedding ring on a stick and don't do the wedding dance around it.

The Hide and Seek movie seems good. The internet web site is downright scary. It's full of surprises and it is fun to go through the different scenes. The sounds accompanying the tour reminded me of the reason why I never listened to the Resident Evil sound effects wile playing it. The site is definitely something I would not visit at night. It's already got me ready to jump out of my chair and its still bright and shiny.

I missed Kung Fu Hustle!!! I think I've lost track of all the other movies I wanted to watch. I should keep a list or something. People who watched the Sundance loved it. I had no idea they had dance numbers aarrrggghhh.

The Kung Fu Hustle web site is filled with audio clips, wallpapers, avatars and games :) You have a choice between Kung Fu Fighter, Pigsty Panic, Axe Gang Rampage and Ice Cream Mania. Haven't tried any of the games yet but the preview seems fun.

coming to an exhibit near you