I've been scared to go back to bed recently. I haven't been sleeping properly and sometimes I go to the bathroom convincing myself that I just need to pee. The last two nights though have been rough. I feel like someone has been watching in the living room and I can't cross 10 feet (bathroom door to bed) in the darkness without someone awake. That someone is always neal.
I also had a nightmare last night
I dreamt that insects were crawling out of me. At first I though they were just inside my clothes but when I took them off, I realized they were coming from inside me. I had two running stitches on both sides of my body where my skin was just healing. I had one big worm stuck to my ass and I pulled it off against Neal's wishes since he was worried but I just wanted them to go away and I killed it with my hands. I woke up with my butt feeling strangely violated.
A short trip to Google and I found out that the insect type was important. I knew that the insects crawling out of me were cockroaches but the one in me was like a worm from Dune. Cockroaches symbolizes need for renewal and a need to rethink major aspects of my life. The worm is a little more complicated. It was inside me partly and I knew it was feeding off me so it probably represents something negative, a low opinion of myself or negative thoughts (most likely the latter). Freeing myself from the worm even if it was painful means I may be striving to free myself of negative thoughts. Killing the worm after getting it off me is a good omen I guess. After the worm killing thing, the cockroaches stopped coming from inside me and my stitches were partly healed. It's been a while since I've had symbolic dreams.
The ghost hanging around our house bothers me. It's usually a sign of a friend dying. Someone whose death will affect me. I hope everyone is okay.
