what if?

what if you know when someone is going to die?
you don't know who.
you don't know how.
you don't even know when.
but something happens. you feel something.
then you forget about it.
then a few days later(the longest was a week)
you hear that someone you know just died.
the closer you are to them, the more horrible the fear attack is, the more accurate your feeling becomes.
some days you think its just BS.
maybe it is. though the accuracy, the number of times it has happened, the way it happens without fail, they nag at the back of your mind.
the freakish thing is that the people who die all die unexpectedly.
an accident, a sudden illness.
no warning.
it's not expected.
what if the fear attacks get so bad you can't sleep unless there's a light in your room.
you think, what if it isn't BS and you can tell when people will die?
can you develop it to the point that you'll know who will die, how they will die and when?
would you want to?
and exactly how far can your senses reach?
who's in your network?
relatives? old friends? old teachers?
what if it doesn't work on your family?
what if you don't want it?
what if you'd rather have a normal night where you can sleep instead of finding yourself gripped in a fear so strong and you don't know what's causing it or how to stop it and all you can do is pray it stops.
your flashlights are running out of batteries and you desperately need a night lamp.
you start to hate the feeling of being alone in your room with -- dare i say-- spirits telling you something you can't understand and you just want them to stop.
you realize you felt the same way when you were a child only you found a way to make it stop but now you don't remember how.
finally, if you do realize that you have this gift.
if you would call this a gift,
imagine how bad the wait would be when it happens again and you don't know who will die.
only that someone will die.
and you wonder if it's your turn
will you get any sign?